After the purge

It takes all the energy I have to get myself off the cold tiled ground and face the bathroom mirror.
I stare at my red eyes and puffy face, sighing as I grab an antacid from the drawer.
I chew it slowly, making sure to get it all over my teeth while splashing my face with shockingly cold water before rinsing out my mouth.
I brush my teeth. I wipe off my makeup. I walk into the living room with shame.
He knows what I just did. He must know, he's lived with me long enough.
He gets up from his chair and greets me with a silent hug.
He whispers your wonderful while stroking my hair.
Thank you I say on the verge of tears.
He loves me despite this disgusting habit of mine.
He loves me not because I stay small, But despite my obsession to stay small.
I must remember that.
When he says I'm wonderful, it's a reminder that I don't have to do this.
When he says I'm wonderful, he's not thanking me for doing what I must to stay small.
I sit down and he brings me an ice cold cup of Gatorade with a warm lemon tea.
I forcefully gulp down the Gatorade, starting to feel alive as the electrolytes replenish then hold on to my tea.
It's going to be okay.
It's going to be okay.
I slowly sip at my tea.
Tomorrows are always better.