Sorry to bug you, I'm just having a really hard time. It hit me today that grad school isn't realistic with my average - I don't even qualify to apply for NSERC funding and I just don't see the point. I've known this for a while but I got the email today and I just feel awful. I know Kyle deserves someone better than me, someone he can be successful with when I won't be. My suicidal ideations have skyrocketed. I'm in the process of maybe breaking up with him because he doesn't see that I'm just holding him back.
I'm busy for the rest of the week so I'm probably okay until the weekend as long as I can convince myself that I need to go do the things I have to do. I don't know about after that though. I don't know if it's worth it. I don't know if I care. I thought I was better but I'm clearly not and I always get back to this point and I don't know what to do.
I don't know why I'm sending you this email, I really don't think there's anything you can say to make me feel better but on my safety plan from the last hospitalization it says contact counselor so I figured I might as well.