Monday, June 12, 2017


Fuck this.
Fuck me.
Fuck everything.
Fuck recovery.
Fuck group.
Fuck treatment.

I'm off to see the psychiatrist at the eating disorder clinic and idk what to say. I don't fit in their stupid little boxes. I don't restrict. Yes, I only keep down healthy foods but isn't one supposed to be healthy? If I'm at a birthday I do my best to keep down the cake. But I have a minimum calorie count not maximum. I try to get as much protein as I can, not avoid fats and carbs. I don't have a goal weight, but a goal body fat percentage.

I'm wasting resources. I choose to have good days which means I choose to have bad days. I choose to let myself go. I can self recover. If I can go a week without symptoms I can go a month, a year, a lifetime.

I'd have to miss half a day of work every Thursday to go to this group. That adds up to over 700$. I could buy pole classes and work out until I'm happy with that amount of money. I don't want to do this group. At all.

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