Friday, June 30, 2017

binge/purge

Yesterday I slipped up and binged and purged. I was quite upset because my goal for this vacation was to not binge and purge. However, I have been doing amazingly well apart from that so it's time to learn from my mistakes and move on (something that is much easier said than done). I'm tempted to just fall back into behaviours for the rest of the trip since I slipped up once but I know that this is not the best solution.

What I noticed though, was that my mood was much lower yesterday. Even after eating enough, my energy level and overall mood was lower than it had been every other day this past week. It could be a coincidence, but it seems to be a little too fitting to be a coincidence.

I'm doing my best to reframe my thoughts and not purge for the rest of this vacation, but the thoughts are loud now that I've slipped up once. One thing that is motivating me is that tomorrow is the first day of July, and I would like to have a binge free July. Knowing my birthday is coming up in July, I'm hesitant to commit to a purge free July, as the idea of eating a birthday meal and cake is scary, and I would much rather purge all the food associated with my birthday. But I think with all the progress I've made I can do a binge-free July.

Let's aim for a binge free July and a purge free August. Then I'll be ready to start the fall term of school healthy, ready to study, apply for grad schools, and of course, train my ass off at gymnastics.

Who's with me?

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