Thursday, May 4, 2017


I thought that keeping busy would make everything okay.

It didn't

I don't have the mental energy to keep myself busy. I spent 36 hours in bed, either asleep or wishing he was with me. He told me his life goals shifted to make lots of money so that I can live in this city with you. I'm in love. I need to motivate myself to do the same. Work hard this summer and spend less money. Commit to treatment and actually try to get better.

I've lost my appetite since he left, and my ED is extremely happy. I don't know what to do. The number on the scale dropped and I can't say I'm upset.

I'm off to work soon and I need to eat. I'll have some hot chocolate and cereal and berries. And I'll pick up a clif bar on my way to work so I have something during my shift, I work 4-8 so right through dinner time. My job is also on my feet, walking and going door to door. I'll definitely need some food even if my appetite is gone.

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