Tuesday, October 11, 2016

You can't pour from an empty cup

It's hard to remember this sometimes.
The past few days have been tough. My best friend attempted suicide again. She told me shortly afyer her overdose and we went to the hospital and she's medically stable. She's going to be okay.

I have no doubt in her ability to fight these demons as she's one of the strongest women I know. But she doesnt know that right now.

Im doing my best to be a good support. But my past trauma with hospitals has been brought up in therapy recently and so flashbacks have been strong. She's still hooked up to machines and getting fluids so that repetitive beeping sound is loud when I visit her. I want to be there, to stay with her, but I get flashbacks so damn quickly and can't function myself.

I know I need to distance myself from the hospital for a bit. And my friend will be home today. But it makes me feel like an awful friend not being able to be there with her.  I'm on my way to see her and drop off some stuff for her. I'm going to have to be assertive and tell her I need to go home, but it's such a hard thing to do. I'm no use to her though if mg flashbacks send me spiraling back into a pit of darkness.

4 comments:

  1. So very sorry about your friend, I have been there....but be sure to take care of you, okay? <3

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  2. You are NOT an awful friend, you did everything you could, you sound like an amazing friend!

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    Replies
    1. I managed to get through the past few days pretty well :) thank you for the kind words

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  3. I hope your friend's okay. I guess it's like that old saying, "you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink". You're a good friend for supporting her as much as you have, never doubt that. But remember that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

    xx

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