Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Are relationships worth it?

I have a hard time with relationships, BPD can do that to you. It's hard to trust that someone loves you when all you've known is loved ones leaving.

I'm scared. I've been anxious lately and my boyfriend and I seem less connected then before. He got some bad news, and since then I just feel a disconnect. Like this disappointment has caused us to drift apart. I know he tends to isolate when the going gets tough, but I can't help but think that it's because he doesn't trust me to be supportive.

Sometimes I wonder if relationships are worth it. If I was single I wouldn't have these worries that my partner was going to leave me. I wouldn't be worried about being left alone. I wouldn't have this sinking feeling in my heart when he says he can't come over. Maybe if I was single all of this stress would go away.

But, I love him. I really do. And leaving him because of the way he copes would be ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with our relationship when I look at the facts. But why do I still have this sinking feeling in my heart?

3 comments:

  1. No, if you were single you would feel ridiculously unloved, rejected and alone, not just when something difficult happens in your relationship, but all the fucking time.

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  2. I think it depends on the relationship. The positives can definitely outweigh the negatives. I agree with Sheila though - the thoughts can be just as constant and upsetting when you're single.

    xx

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  3. Thank you <3 My borderline makes me think crazy things sometimes, I know my relationship is good for me, even if it may cause some anxiety

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