Sunday, July 24, 2016

Wedding freak out

I went to a wedding last night
It was for one of my favorite aunt's
I travelled six hours on a bus
To get there because this was
Quite important to me.

The ceremony was great and
So was the beginning of the reception
But once the first meal came
I completely froze
It took me about ten minutes
To take the first bite
I finished my plate with a lot of anxiety
And completely lost it
I went down to the restroom
And purged the first of the five courses

I started to panic
So I went outside shaking
And crying. Everyone was staring
I wanted to disappear
Thankfully my boyfriend was
Around his computer and talked me through
Everything that was going on
My mom came down and I told her
That I couldn't eat in front of everyone
And she was very supportive

I spent the rest of the evening outside
Talking with family
Until I left early
With my younger brother and sister

I feel terrible about everything
That happened. I really wanted to
Be there and have fun with my aunt
It's been years since I've seen that
Part of the family and now they must think
That I'm absolutely insane

I'm so disappointed that my
Eating disorder ruined another
Event for me. I'm so sick of this illness
But I'm too scared to leave it

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