Friday, June 17, 2016

Sharing my writing

I shared my last poem on facebook, as I'm trying to be more open and share my experiences with the world. Blogging is great, but I want to make a difference, and I think one of the best ways for me to do that is explore different forms of media when writing about mental health, as it allows me to target a different audience. 

The response I received was all very positive, and in fact a handful of my friends shared my poem which I was very thankful for. My struggle is the way my parents reacted. Yes, I have my parents on facebook. And it can be hard for me to share things, because I don't want it to seem like I'm attacking them. 

I'm worried that two of the lines in my poem may have seemed harsh towards them.

"For the girl who's family didn't understand

Because from the outside everything was grand"

My dad sent me a message saying he wishes he was paying more attention ten years ago. My mom commented that she loves me. 

When I write poetry, I come from a very emotional place. Yes, my parents made mistakes. Yes, some of those mistakes affected me long term. I often wish I could go back in time and shake sense into my parents during those important moments, when their words and actions affected me more than they thought. But I can't. I'm grateful for the support I've gotten from my parents. They aren't always who I need them to be, but they're still there, and they're still supporting me. 

I'm worried that when I share my writing, my family overgeneralizes the message I'm trying to get across. On the other hand, I also know that in order to make change, you need to talk about things that are uncomfortable. Shielding everyone's feelings won't lead to any change. I think I did the right thing. I just don't want to hurt others. 

-Niqi

xoxo

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