Thursday, June 9, 2016

Scales

Yesterday my therapist was telling me that I need to use radical acceptance, and accept that I can not recover and continue weighing myself.
She made the comparison of an alcoholic having just one drink.
"It's a lovely idea but it's bullshit" were her exact words.

What do you guys think? I'm all for accepting that my set point weight is higher than what I'm currently at. I'll accept that I need to gain weight to recover. I'll even accept that it's not healthy for me to maintain a lower body weight even if my eating patterns are healthy.

I just don't understand why I have to get rid of the scale.

I didn't weigh myself this morning and really struggled all day. Knowing the number just calms me down. I'm usually able to convince myself to eat according to my meal plan for the day no matter what the scale says, I just need to know. I need the reassurance that I'm not gaining a bunch of weight. I need the reassurance that I'm not expanding at an exponential rate. I jist need the confirmation of the number on a scale.

-Niqi
xoxo

4 comments:

  1. I think it goes deeper than simply getting rid of your scale. That's just the "outside" component. It's more about finding a way to be okay with yourself without that reassurance...letting go of the security that you find in the number.

    I think you should get radical and trash your scale. :) (I think I should do the same thing)

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    1. I suppose that's true... I just don't feel comfortable enough doing that I guess.. I really wish I did

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  2. SW put it well. I think it's different for all of us. Personally, I find the number on the scale so triggering I can't imagine trying to recover while still weighing in. When I first started seeing my dietician and upping my intake, she was in charge of weighing and I didn't see the number for months. When I did, well...

    xx

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    1. I guess I've just always known the number.. even pre ED - I know its probably better not to know but it's just so scary

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