Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Day 5

Made it to day five again. Now I just have to make it through today. 

I don't feel as though this really counts as being purge-free for five days because I binged yesterday. But I stopped myself halfway through and DIDN'T purge. It ended up being about 1500kcal at the end of the day, but I need to remind myself that 1500kcal won't make me gain. 15000 yes, 1500 no. I've made a lot of progress when it comes to my binging - I've gone from 10,000kcal binges to an average of 3000kcal. 

It makes it easier not to purge when the binges are smaller as well. Like yesterday, after half my binge, I was able to convince myself not to purge, since it was a smaller amount. 

Anyways, I know this still counts. I'm getting better. Slowly, but it's happening. 

I haven't gone five days in over two years. In fact, the last time I went five days was when I was inpatient for my depression the first time. I hadn't figured out how to purge behind their backs yet, so complied and managed to stay clean. 

And now I'm doing it again. On my own this time. After a HELL week, as many of you know if you've been reading my last few posts. 

Seven more hours to go. 

I'll update you on whether or not I was successful tomorrow. 

-Niqi

xoxo

1 comment:

  1. Girl, you are so awesome!! Stopping mid-binge and not purging is monumental. You can do this!

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