*b/p trigger warning on this piece*
That first bite you take. After holding off for so long and trying to repress those feelings. After hours and hours of deprivation. The sweetness, the butteriness, the carbs. No words can describe what that first bite feels like. It's like floating. Everything around you is released. Everything else in the world ceases to matter. All that's left is you and your high.
The release is strong, violent and painful. But never the less, still so addicting. That blurry eyed, light headed, dizzy trance, when you've played your little game, and beat the world with your dirty secret. It's magical.
Yes, this is my addict mind speaking. Sometimes it overpowers me. Leaving me an pawn in it's game. The crash is always rough, the dehydration, swollen glands, and scratchy throat. But some mornings it seems okay. Like it was all worth it. Because the high was incredible.