Thursday, May 5, 2016

PTSD

As I mentioned on my instagram account, my therapist today mentioned that I might have PTSD. To be completely honest, I'm a bit frustrated. I've been seeing my therapist, who I love, for two years, but I think maybe she should have known. It is true that I haven't been as honest about how my childhood affected me, and I know that I can't expect my therapist to read my mind, but it would be nice if she could.

The bad news is, we're revamping treatment. This also means pushing back my eating disorder treatment until we deal with these underlying issues. To be totally honest with you, I'm kind of okay with that. The part I'm not okay with is the part where I have to face all these other issues. I would so much rather talk about food then about my trauma.

The good news is, I can most likely get treatment faster. Or at least better treatment. If this is really what's been holding me back then breaking through this might be the key to healing. Maybe this is why treatment hasn't worked so far, because this hasn't been addressed.

I'm way too mentally exhausted to write a lot more today. I'm going to go make myself a nice dinner and watch Netflix before going to bed early.

-Niqi
xoxo

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry to hear that. PTSD is a horrid thing to experience. Of course it's easier to talk about food than trauma - it's a coping mechanism for a reason. I've never had proper treatment specific to it, but more pieces of the puzzle started falling into place when I started opening up about the trauma.

    Hope you have a quiet, relaxing weekend <3
    xxxx

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