When people hear that I have an eating disorder, they often say "well of course, you're a gymnast".
No. Gymnastics has saved my life. Gymnastics is what taught me that my body is powerful. That I can do remarkable things. It's what helped me through high school, it's what reminded me that I was more than my weight, than my size then the number of boys that I've kissed.
Gymnastics taught me that muscle was good, that made me want to stay fit. So yes I have an eating disorder. Yes, sometimes gymnastics can trigger some orthorexic behaviors. But no, eating disorder did not cause my eating disorder. In fact, it prevented my bulimia from taking over. There is a limit to how sick you can be while still doing gymnastics.
I've been watching the 2016 NCAA gymnastics championships, and it reminds me of why I need to recover. It reminds me why I want to live. Collegiate gymnastics is the dream. I'm not a good enough athlete for it to be a realistic goal, but you can always dream right?
To be a collegiate gymnast, I'd need stellar marks to get into grad school, and stellar gymnastics to make the team.
School and gymnastics are my two reasons to recover. And watching this competition reminds me of that.
I hope you all do something today that reminds you of why you want to recover.