Monday, May 30, 2016

Bugeting bulimia

I made it through a full work day, with no ativan, changed up my meal plan at the last minute and am feeling safe on the train going home.
My mood and energy levels are still horrendously low, but I'm no longer in constant panic or dissociation.  I can breathe.

Now, for the rant of the day.

Why is having a mental illness so expensive?
I spend double my rent in therapy costs every month. I had to take three days off work last week because I was too sick so there goes $300. I spend a ridiculous amount of money in dispensing fees for meds because I can't be trusted with more than a months worth at a time.
Then there's the addiction. I can't help myself from buying food all the damn time. I'm uncontrollable. Hundreds of dollars in food being spent every week to go down the toilet.
The worst part is. To quit binging and purging, I've got to eat. I have to have healthy food, which is more expensive and then there's always the risk I just binge on that food.
Adulting is hard enough on its own. Balancing a budget can be tough. Add in a mental illness and it's hell.


1 comment:

  1. I was a lot like you, though not exactly as there are never two addicts that are exactly the same. I would buy all kinds of food, even after I made a decision to clean up. For me, it took a little help from some great workers at a wellness center to finally kick it. Good luck.