I tend to not go to the ER as much as I probably should. I have countless overdoses that could have been avoided if I had the strength to go to the emergency room and ask for help. The problem is though, they don't help.
I ended up going last night. After having to leave work early, swallowing a week's worth of sleeping pills, and planning to go get more pills, I knew I needed to go. There was a very low chance that I would be alive today if I didn't go.
The problem is though, other than hold me, they didn't do me any good. I went in around 5pm, and got placed under a Form 1 (which can hold me in the hospital for up to 72 hours) around 5:30. I met with a nurse and resident, but other than that I proceeded to scratch myself and talk to my friend who took me to the hospital until around midnight when I was told I would see a psychiatrist. At 1am I asked if I could discharge myself, as the resident had cleared me. They said yes, but it took them an other hour to fill out the paper work.
I guess it helped in the sense that I'm alive today. But all they did was hold me captive. I knew I needed a short term admission. But it got to the point where I had waited 8 hours, with barely any food (they gave me a small sandwich for dinner at 6) and hadn't seen a psychiatrist. I was in a room without a bed so I couldn't sleep. By then I just wanted to sleep. So I went home.
I'm feeling better today, so maybe I'll be okay. But maybe I won't. It's been a really tough week and I've had several breakdowns. What if I have another one today?
I've ranted about this so many times. But we need a functional mental health system. We need a system with enough money to support admitting people when in crisis.
If you go to the hospital with chest pains, you get admitted for observation.
If you go to the hospital after an overdose, you get sent home and told not to do it again.
This ridiculous stigma in our health care system is ridiculous. It's 2016. Wake up, world. We have people dying and trying to die every day because of mental illness. Something's gotta change.