Friday, March 25, 2016

Trying

My therapist told me that I should try turning to writing instead of purging.
I guess the idea is that I can 'purge' my emotions while writing, without slowly killing myself.
It makes sense but the idea seems strange.
The thought of not purging while emotional is so strange to me.

I had a difficult snack today - a muffin and a frappuccino, and I know I can't purge it.
I know I need the energy.
I was hoping that this snack would wake me up a little, but all I want to do is sleep, which doesn't help with the guilty feelings.

I found a quote while scrolling through twitter that I wanted to share, and I think it's relevant right now.
I treated myself to this fancy 8$ snack, as my roommate and I spontaneously wanted to go out and show off our newly died hair.

Today, those extra pounds were my spontaneity, my ability to have fun, to go out with friends, to laugh. And it's worth it. 

I'm back to auburn hair, as you can see in this picture. Obviously going to starbucks was the right choice, I had to show off my new hair! I feel more like myself with brighter hair. And a bright auburn or burgundy is my go to color - it's not too drastic, especially when going to job interviews, but still brings out my personality. 

Hope you're all having a lovely Friday, and a nice day off for all of you who get a holiday,

-Niqi
xoxo


2 comments:

  1. LOVE the new color!!! It looks fabulous on you...looks like it should be your natural color, actually.

    I've tried the "write instead of purge" method too. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I seem to b/p for so many different reasons that I've found more success in finding out the why's behind it and applying coping skills to that. *sigh* Of course it has to be so blasted complicated, right?

    Hope you have a lovely weekend!

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    Replies
    1. OMG THANK YOU!!! My natural color is brown, but I always thought I looked cute with some red in it :) So glad you agree!
      I agree with that as well - I've gotten pretty good at noticing when I b/p due to hunger, and solving that with a healthy meal, but I can't seem to stop the emotional binging....

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