So, as you know, if you read yesterday's post, I met my new psychologist. I was extremely nervous, mostly because her office is located in the eating disorder clinic that turned me away for treatment.
It actually went very very well! It was, of course, a very difficult appointment. I had to talk about my history, and we went into quite a bit of detail about my childhood trauma, and discussed my anxieties regarding cancer and the rest of my family's health, which made me quite anxious for the rest of the day.
However, in terms of the eating disorder treatment she was quite in line with my priorities. We need to stop the binging. When the binging has been stopped, so will most of the purging. The binging is what is causing me a lot of distress, the incapability of going to class, and eating up all my money. She also actually appreciated my sense of humor, which was wonderful. I've tried working with therapists that haven't liked my sense of humor, and that really doesn't work for me. I use humor as a coping mechanism so I feel very uncomfortable when in situations where it isn't appropriate for me to make jokes.
I'm feeling a lot more hopeful after this appointment, and the relief of it having gone so well has already helped me reduce the severity of my binging and purging yesterday, even though we didn't really start any treatment. I'm still going to put myself on the waiting list for an insurance covered bed in residential treatment, however I am hoping that by working with my new psychologist, I won't need to go when a spot opens up.
Keep on fighting everyone,
We made it to Friday,