Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Conflict resolution

My BPD has been going a bit crazy lately. The one part of DBT that I found extremely helpful though. was interpersonal skills.

In the past few weeks I've gotten into a few tough situations with my friends.

I'm the co-president of  a society at school, and I didn't show up to a meeting last week. This may not seem like a huge deal, but I left my co-president in the dust.
Additionally, after getting triggered at the restaurant I went home, and left my friend at a party alone, when she was depending on me for support.

Now, of course my friends were understanding that in both cases, I was in a tough situation. However, they were quite upset, I did let them down after all.

My immediate thought was to break off those relationships, go to a new gym and quit my society. Obviously, this is an extreme reaction, but I don't come from a place where stable friendships can handle a tough situations. I'm used to losing relationships over the tiniest of arguments, and my borderline personality disorder likes to have intense short relationships, that end in flames.

I was able to explain to my friends what happened. I told them that I was doing badly mentally. I explained why I let them down. They were still upset of course. They're allowed to be. But they weren't mad at me. They didn't want to end the friendship.

I need to remember. Relationships can be resolved. True friendships can get through rough times.


-Niqi
xoxo

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