Monday, January 18, 2016

Losing

It's been two days where I've been working incredibly hard to reach around 1500 calories, maintain weight, and not binge and purge.

I did pretty well, until stress got to me last night, and I did binge and purge on pasta.

However, today is a new start and I know that I can keep on doing this.

But what I find odd, is that I'm now losing weight. I know a lot of it must be water weight and loating that I hold on too when I'm binging and purging a lot. But I've been between 1500-2000 calories for two days, and I've lost. I just don't understand how this is happening.

I mean, I'm pleased, but I'm also anxious. I shouldn't be losing? I like the final results, but I like having the control. That's a big part of my disorder - the control aspect. And now it's like I've lost it. I clearly can't just control my weight.


-Niqi
xoxo

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