Friday, January 8, 2016

First week of classes

I'm already overwhelmed. It's day four of classes and all I want to do is hide under my blankets. Why must school be so overwhelming.

The worst part is, I love it. I love my classes, my profs seem great, my depression and anxiety just seem to want to ruin me. If I hated school, I'd drop out and take the time to think about what I want to do. But that's not what's going on. I love it. I'm taking a reduced course load. And yet I still feel overwhelmed.

I don't know what to do. I just want to be okay and happy and motivated and determined again. I want to go back to the me that loved classes, loved life and loved myself. Not this collection of cells that fight each other day after day, half of them wanting to do and half of them wanting to live.

-Niqi
xoxo

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