I'm back in a much more positive mindset.
I acted in some behaviors that I thought were gone yesterday, but to a much lesser extent. I had a (minor) overdose on sedatives because I was really overwhelmed and just wanted a break. I took the normal dose of two different sedatives (that aren't supposed be taken at the same time) together at 4pm, and then repeated this again at 1am. It's a lot better than the overdosing I used to do, which would be bottles of pills, however I still feel like it's a bit of a slip back. I took these pills so that I could sleep for 24ish hours (I ended sleeping 20), which is by no means a healthy thing.
However, as bad as that was, I do feel like it was a one time thing. I've managed to get myself back up on my feet. I went to tutor today, which helps me pay back my debt, one of my goals of the year. I'm also heading out to the book store and Starbucks later to do my last Christmas shopping and pick up a new agenda. The best part about the book store, is the starbucks there so I can get alllll the free coffee/tea as I browse.
Thursday and Friday were pretty bad food wise, as was this morning, but I'm back on track. I had to hurry for lunch as I was heading out to tutoring, but had a high protein pita with dried fruit, which almost added up to what I needed to eat for lunch. Then had a big bowl of protein oats for snack which made up for the small lunch. I'm going to make some sort of squash/broccolli/cauliflower wrap for dinner. I'm pretty excited. I really like getting back into the kitchen!
I'm also thinking of making some protein banana muffins tomorrow.
Hope you're all doing well.
If you haven't had a chance to check out my spoken word, here it is!
7 things I want you to know as you're staring into the toilet bowl.