Sunday, October 18, 2015

Counting down

I used to count up
Up by ones, twos and threes
Until I got to a hundred.
Then I got good at it,
So my dad would time me
And I’d count up by twos or threes
As fast as I could.

I guess I was counting up
But the time on the stopwatch
Was going down
Down
down
Where each lower number
Was me getting better

And I guess that was
The start of the descent
When something in my mind turned
And I realized that lower was better

I’ve been a gymnast
Since a wee little girl
And after every routine
My coach would yell out
How many deduction
Points she took off

No need to say,
I learned very quickly
To rejoice at small numbers
And grin ear to ear
Every time she got close
To saying zero.

My math teacher would always
Push me because she knew
I was smart
And I guess I should be thankful
Because I got into university
And I’ll one day get a job
But I can’t help but resent her
And every time I make
A mistake or two
I hear her voice
Telling me I could have done better

Once the point
In being almost perfect
When you have the potential
To truly be perfect.

As life went on
Everything became a race
Because the less time it takes
The more people cheer
And the less help you need
The more people smile
And the less of a voice
The more people are nice
So I kept on counting
Down down and down

I got to a point so numb
I couldn’t think or breathe or move
So I stepped on a glass slate
The number was high and
I’m supposed to be less

I sometimes need time
And I sometimes need help
And I sometimes need my voice
But this I could control
This I didn’t need
This would be the way
That I would count down.


-Niqi
xoxo

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