Sunday, September 13, 2015

New roommate

One of my best friends just moved into my house. I'm super super excited about this, because I do feel distanced from the other people in my house. There are a few things I'm concerned about though...

She's in ED recovery, following her meal plan, not eating diet products, and not skipping snacks. I, on the other hand have been taken off my meal plan, because having me not follow it day after day was ridiculous. I'm still focusing on all the reasons why I have an eating disorder, and maybe then I will want to recover. But at this point, if I don't want to get better, I won't, so focusing on why I don't want to get better.

I'm just really scared of triggering her. Having her around makes me more motivated, and consider recovery more seriously, but I am still so deep in my disorder that I can't imagine doing what she's doing. I don't want her to relapse because of me.

On the other hand, it is really nice to have someone who understands what it is like around.

-Niqi
xoxo

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