Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Food

As someone with an eating disorder I love food. If someone with an eating disorder tells you they hate food, they're lying. I don't mean to overgeneralize, but a binge eater and some bulimics are addicted to food, anorexics and some bulimics are so deprived that the survival part of there brain can't stop thinking about food, and osfed/ednos patients tend to have some combination. The point is we're obsessed with food. We may hate good, but we also love it.

One of the struggles I've had with living in a student house, is having to pay for food. I'll pay for binge food, because I'm in such an impulsive I need food now state. However, when its time to go grocery shopping I don't want to invest in food. I'm broke, spend any spare money I have on my bige food... How am I supposed to pay for normal food? The worst part is I get trapped in this cycle where I don't allow myself to buy any food for a week because I spent too much money binging and  purging, but then I restrict, get really hungry, and impulsively buy binge food, thus spending more money on food then I would have had I just bought groceries.

I took a big step yesterday, and spent money on real food. I haven't done real groceries in about three weeks, so all the food I had left was either packaged dry foods (which I love but can't live off of), or going bad. I eat a lot of fruits, veggies and yogurts, so only having oats, protein powder and canned soup was not cutting it for me.

I spent more money than I would have liked, and I'm definitely under financial stress and need to find myself a job this weekend, but the good news is I have food that is healthy and that I'm excited to eat!

Here's some of what I got:
Organic shredded multicolored carrots (they were on sale)
Celery
Apples
Yogurt
Frozen strawberries and raspberries
Egg whites
Milk
Bread
Cliff bars.

I'm super pumped for dinner which is a spaghetti squash and carrot stirfry! (With an ensure for protein and calories). I left my house at ten, and won't get back until eleven, so I need something I could take with me.

I hope you're all managing food, school, and your mental health!!

-Niqi
xoxo

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