Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Something strange happened

Something strange happened

Something strange happened
When I was seventeen and a half
Everything with beauty
Suddenly seemed so sad

I thought of my little sister
A smiling three year old girl
Who would grow up to see
Too many reasons to frown

The bus ride back
From my week at home
Reminded me how dark
The world gets after sunset

And that lighter I used
To light candles and relax
Starting making marks
On my upper right thigh

The cheesecake that I
Would eat after a very long day
Became the first food
I saw mixed with acid

My smooth legs that I loved
And would moisturize daily
Were scared by the same
Pink razor that shaved them

It was all very sudden
How everything seemed
To turn into a method
Of self-destruction

All I know now
At nineteen years old
Is that I wish I could be
Smiling for real

-Niqi
xoxo

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