A conversation between me and my esophagus.
Me: it's Friday night, and I'm quite stressed. I'd like to pour some vodka into my lemonade.
My esophagus: I'm already in pain from the stomach acid you forces back up half an hour ago.
Me: I'm sorry I hurt you, but I won't do that tomorrow.
My esophagus: but you did it today. And you did it twice. And I just want to rest.
Me: at least I took my reflux meds though. Why can't that calm you down?
My esophagus: maybe if you took your meds consistently it would help. But you've skipped your meds a lot this month. And you've been purging a lot. Can you please just let me rest.
Me: I've been trying so hard this week though and now I just want a break.
My esophagus: I know you've been trying, but the less stomach acid I endure, the more coffee I endure and that hurts me as well.
Me: you're making it pretty impossible for me to win.
My esophagus: well maybe if you recovered we wouldn't have to go through this.
Me: but this disorder helps me in so many ways.
My esophagus: you're forgetting about how much it's killing you.
Me: I know. But I just want a drink.
My esophagus: I can't stop you but I sure as hell will yell.