Friday, August 14, 2015

I want vodka

A conversation between me and my esophagus.

Me: it's Friday night, and I'm quite stressed. I'd like to pour some vodka into my lemonade.

My esophagus: I'm already in pain from the stomach acid you forces back up half an hour ago.

Me: I'm sorry I hurt you, but I won't do that tomorrow.

My esophagus: but you did it today. And you did it twice. And I just want to rest.

Me: at least I took my reflux meds though. Why can't that calm you down?

My esophagus: maybe if you took your meds consistently it would help. But you've skipped your meds a lot this month. And you've been purging a lot. Can you please just let me rest.

Me: I've been trying so hard this week though and now I just want a break.

My esophagus: I know you've been trying, but the less stomach acid I endure, the more coffee I endure and that hurts me as well.

Me: you're making it pretty impossible for me to win.

My esophagus: well maybe if you recovered we wouldn't have to go through this.

Me: but this disorder helps me in so many ways.

My esophagus: you're forgetting about how much it's killing you.

Me: I know. But I just want a drink.

My esophagus: I can't stop you but I sure as hell will yell.


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