Monday, July 13, 2015

The right side of the bed

Sometimes, I wake up and things are okay. I don't mind that I've gained a pound - I know logically that it is food and water weight. I don't mind that I'm behind on work - I'm going to catch up today. 

I'm motivated today. Something I've been lacking this past week. I love this feeling. I feel like myself again, I feel alive and high on life. I feel like I can do this. I can cope with my mental illnesses and strive. 

The problem is, the feeling passes. The same way my depressive mood swings eventually pass, my happy mood swings pass as well - and often pretty quickly. I feel like it's a race against time, to be as productive, and do as much as I can in the few hours I have of hope and happiness. 

Breathe. This is part of recovery. Taking time to breath and just enjoying how I feel is going to help me feel this way more often in the future. I have to take time to breathe. It's not a race. 

Breathe. 


I'm off to work, bring gravol to a sick friend, workout and go to therapy today. I have lot's of veggies in my fridge, I think I'm going to steam some broccoli, and have that with rice and beans today. I hope you all have a good start to your week. 

-Niqi
xoxo

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