Friday, July 10, 2015

I got asked out on a date

I got asked out on a date
And to be honest when it happened,
The first thought that flew into my mind,
Was: "But you know how crazy I am".

Because I'd been taught ,
By both society and experience,
That I'm way too fucked up,
To go on a date.

I have been told time after time,
That I have to love myself,
Before anyone could ever,
Love me.

Being buried alive,
Under tonnes of self hatred,
Made me think,
That no one could care.

But maybe someone can,
Or maybe they can't and they'll
Realize that when we do go out.
But I can try.

Because, at least for today,
I'm not the borderline bitch
That puts up a wall
As so never to be hurt.

As Peter McWilliams once said
"It is a risk to love.
What if it doesn't work out?
Ah, but what if it does."

-Niqi
xoxo

1 comment:

  1. Awwww....so happy for you!! I hope you have tons of fun and are able to relax and let yourself be cared about. I personally believe that NOBODY is too fucked up to be loved.

    I do the same thing though. I bury myself in self-hatred and I put up walls, hell I put up skyscrapers. lol But I have a few people in my life who have been persistent about loving me despite what I think about myself. I keep asking them....how are you not sick of me yet? They just say...Ang, if you could see yourself how we see you, then you'd know.

    It's true that you need to love yourself before you can have very much to give to others....but that doesn't stop others from being able to love you in the meantime. It's in that "mean-time" of being loved despite how f'd up we are that we can start loving ourselves and actually have a little to give back.

    I LOVE that Peter McWilliams saying.....totally stealing that for myself today. :)

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