Thursday, July 16, 2015

Happy tenth anniversary

Yesterday was my late stepmom's tenth anniversary. I miss her so much. Here is an excerpt of the letter I wrote to her.


Dear Cindy,

Happy tenth anniversary. I hope heaven is throwing you a nice party. You deserve it. I hope you have found your dad, he's been up with you for almost two years now. I hope he's with you today.

I hope you know how much we miss you. We loved you so much, and don't ever want you to forget that. Daddy and I talked about you today. That doesn't happen very often, it's nice when it does though. He actually used you as an example regarding how to be a good girlfriend.

I guess that is new news. I have a boyfriend. It hasn't been very long (it's actually only been about a week), but he treats me very well and takes care of me.

I'm doing alright. At the very least I'm doing much better than I was last year. I know I was very close to joining you last summer. I've been fighting really hard. I have some scary things I need to face this year, and I'm hoping that I can face it with half the strength, grace and dignity you faced everything with. I've definitely picked up some of my sense of humor from you - and it really does help me get through my darkest times. I've been on Prozac for just over a year now, and it has been helping. I know you were on it as well for a while.

Daddy has been telling me that I was a very positive influence. It was ten years ago, and I was only nine, so it's hard to remember. He said he would use me to get you to eat. Honestly, if I had half the effect that my siblings have had on me, I would be astonished. I'm happy I could help, even if it was just with the innocent smile of a nine year. old. I'm very sorry you never got an opportunity to meet Tanya, Amelia and Elina. I hope you know Daddy still loves you although he remarried. You would have gotten along well with his new wife, and their two kids. Amelia and Elina are helping me a lot, reminding me to keep on fighting.

I miss you lots and my thoughts are with you.
Love always,



It's always hard to cope with the lost of a loved one. I find that writing to her really helps me cope with my feelings.

I hope you are all doing well today!

-Niqi
xoxo

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