Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Starving

It really bothers me when people say they are starving. Some people really are starving. You might be. But the term is so overused that how is one supposed to know if someone actually means it?
Sometimes I actually am starving. Depending on your eating disorder, sometimes you are literally starving yourself. And it sucks. The side effects that come with starving yourself suck. There is no nicer way of saying it.
However, if you don’t struggle with food, and you had 2 slices of toast instead of your usual 3 with a large glass of orange juice for breakfast, and you find yourself hungrier than usual around lunch time, you aren’t starving. You’re not. You can say you’re hungry. You can say you’re very hungry. You can even say you feel like you’re about to pass out, as you may very well feel that way depending on your body. But is your body eating itself? Is your hair falling out every night, and your muscle mass shrinking? Is your pulse down to a very low level in order to lower your metabolism? You aren’t starving.
Maybe it just bothers me because I know what it’s like to be starving. I know what it’s like to be starving, and tell someone I’m starving as a cry for help, because I haven’t been able to keep food down in two days. I know what it’s like to have people reply with “lol me too, I haven’t eaten in 5 hours”. I know what it’s like to have your cry for help disregarded because the phrase is so commonly used.
I know what it’s like.
I also can’t expect people to stop using this phrase. I realize that my rant won’t cause any changes in people’s behaviour. I realize that I can’t expect the world to change their behaviour because I struggle with an eating disorder. That wouldn’t be fair of me. But I did want to get this out.

-Niqi

xoxo

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