Monday, June 1, 2015

Breaking and Entering

I thought I was okay.

Okay, fine.
I wasn't okay.
But I wasn't not okay either.
I genuinely thought that I would be okay.
Now, I'm not so sure

I didn't think being told that I was sicker,
Than I thought I was,
Or pretend to be,
Would hit me that hard.
But, I guess it did.

I spent my weekend in a haze,
I was out with some friends,
Drinking and talking all night
And sleeping all day.
Anything to dull the pain
Anything to make it go away.

In the midst of this weekend
I made a few more,
Mistakes than I'd like to admit.
It started off innocently,
A few mixed drinks and harmless flirting.

But accelerated quite quickly.
To vodka shots,
And hooking up with basically a stranger
Outside in the park
After being told,
You're friend is into him.

I wish it ended there,
But we had a repeat performance,
The following night,
As my friends were either,
Upset, being bullied or harassed.

I'm always the one to put everything aside
And go for walks with my friends,
Because they mean more to me than
Anything in the world.

But my blood was thick with vodka
And I wasn't aware of half of what
Was going on.

The following day,
We went back but found
That all the doors were locked,
And nobody was home.

Of course we decided the sane
Thing to do was go in through the
Skylight, and start drinking in the day.
Because when all hell breaks lose the
Night before,
Being sober the next day,
Is way too much to handle.

So I broke in,
I broke and entered,
I stole and ate and drank and slept,
And today's headache is making me
Re-think yesterday's mistake.

-Niqi
xoxo

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