Monday, March 23, 2015

Spread the Love

Firstly, yes I really should be sleeping. This is supposed to be part of my 30 minutes of watching Netflix while drifting asleep. But I had a lot of caffeine, which I haven't had in a while, and it makes me feel good. Less depressed. More motivated.

I was doing some calculus questions at starbucks today after a horrendous morning/early afternoon of skipping classes in order to b/p. This is a huge no no for me. A big red light. I need to get on track of my binging and purging before it gets any worse.

But anyways, I was sitting at starbucks doing my calculus when my friend calls. She was very worried about one of her friends, who hadn't been eating. She was struggling a lot, and my friend called to ask for my advice with regards to handling the situation. I was so thankful she called me, as there are so many things that one can say that will make someone spiral farther down into their eating disorder, especially when they are really struggling, which from the sounds of it, she was. After telling my friend the best ways to talk to her, gets her electrolytes and to make she eats at least a little bit, she asked me how I was doing. I admitted that I've been really struggling lately and my bulimia thoughts have been loud. Of course there were other people around, but everyone was busy doing their own thing, and the only person really in ear shot was on and off the phone herself and doing an assignment.

A couple hours later, the girl who was sitting at the same table I was got up to leave. Before she left she came over and said:
I don't mean to interrupt, and I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but I heard you saying you were struggling over the phone. I just wanted to wish you the best.
This honestly made my day. My friends are always there to support me, but for a stranger to come by and say that made me feel like people really do care. Lots of people anonymously give me support, and it is easy to do over a screen. But this girl really put effort in to come tell me she wishes me the best. People are genuinely good. I want to spread the love and kindness I received. So next time I overhear someone struggling, I will go up to them and wish them the best as well. Because those few words made my evening so much nicer. (And convinced me to not go buy binge food on my way home, and make a nice smoothie that I kept down)

To any of my followers who are struggling, who may not have gotten the love and kindness they deserved today.
You are wonderful. I may or may not know you, but making it this far proves how strong you are. So even if I don't know your story, I know that you are so amazingly strong. Things will get better, they may get worse first, but I promise they WILL get better. You can get through anything. Good luck with your current challenges <3

-Niqi
xoxo

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