Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Hunger

I don't feel hunger
the same you do
To me hunger is what I feel
When I'm sad
Tired
Angry
Or lonely.
Hunger to me
Isn't something that
Can be satisfied
By a balanced meal or
An afternoon snack.

To me my stomach grumbling
Isn't a sign telling me to eat
But a message telling me
That I'm better then that
I'm above the rest
And don't need anything
At all
Because that's what I am.
Nothing.

To me having my head in the toilet
Isn't something that happens
Every so often
When I drink too much
But a daily activity
That a repeat again and again
Its my sanity, my safety,
My way to control
Everything.

To me being full,
Doesn't happen when I've
Had a satisfying meal.
But happens after I've eaten
The entire kitchen while
Watching Netflix and trying
To numb the pain.
Or sometimes being full
Is what happens when
I'm staring at my reflection
And realize I take up
Way too much space.

-Niqi
xoxo

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