Thursday, February 5, 2015

101 guide to being in a relationship with someone with BPD

I hate making blanket statements, of course this isn't accurate for everyone with borderline personality disorder.

Firstly, I'm bad in social situations. I will either tell everyone my life story and not say a single word. Sometimes I will go through both of these phases in the same night. Let me be. Don't pester me when I'm quiet, asking me what's wrong. I just don't wanna talk anymore, I want to withdraw. Let me be. I might just go take a nap in the corner of the room or put my headphones in. Don't take it offensively, you're throwing a great party. In half an hour I'll probably grinding on the dance floor again. 

Secondly, don't judge. I understand that you don't fully understand my personality disorder. I'm going to do stupid things and regret them later. I might go spend 300$ on a dress I don't need, putting me in debt. Or wake up stressed so call someone I barely know to have sex. I'm working on my impulse, but these activities are healthier than the other ideas that run through my mind. After these episodes, I'm just proud of myself if I have no new scars, and didn't overdose. It may sound like low standards, but it's just where I'm at and that's okay. So don't judge. 

Lastly, I am going to send you mixed signals. I'll get mad when you don't care but push you away when you show concern. I'll spill my soul out to you, and then refuse to talk about any of it. I'll tell you I'm struggling, but I won't show it and I'll deny your help. I'm sorry, I know it's stressful for you. Let me be. I'll talk to you when I'm ready and comfortable. Don't push me or I'll push you farther away. 

-Niqi
xoxo

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