Saturday, January 17, 2015

What you don't see

You don't see the dark circles under my eyes before I cake foundation on my face.
You don't see the tears I cry in the bathroom when I feel unsatisfactory.
You don't see the pep talk I have to give myself before I walk out the door everyday.
You don't see the fine hair that's grown all over my body before I shave it off.
You don't see the scars on my thigh that I refuse to reveal.
You don't see the clumps of hair that fall out every time I brush my hair.
You don't see the calluses on the knuckles of my hands because my shiny nailpolish draws away the focus.
You don't see how tired I get from walking up a flight of stairs because I've gotten used to pushing myself to the point of exhaustion.
You don't see the mess inside my head I hide by making my room extra tidy.
You don't see the mean words at myself when I get a question wrong.
You don't see that it's all an act.
I'm nothing to aspire to.
I'm nothing.

-Niqi
xoxo

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