Friday, January 2, 2015

Accepting

I'm trying very hard to accept the fact that I just binged. .. Well I had about 1260cals. Does that count as a binge? It's clinically on the fence I suppose.
It was what some would call "lunch". I don't understand how a veggie burger, onion rings and pies from Harveys is a lunch and not a feast, but I guess that is my disorder speaking.
I really want to lose weight and get down to my goal weight. But I also want to stop the every day torture that this eating disorder is causing me.
I want to accept. I accept that I have this disorder, but I also need to learn to accept that sometimes I will binge. This doesn't mean I need to fast. One step at a time. I can go back to meal plan tomorrow and continue with my every day life.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
It will be okay. 1260 isn't even a pound of fat. I have a workout planned for tonight. If I still need to purge after I get off the bus I am on, I will allow myself to do so.. but maybe the feeling will pass. I'm still stuck on this bus for 2.5 more hours.

-Niqi
xoxo

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