Friday, October 31, 2014

Home sweet home

I wasn't in a binge mood today. But I felt like I should. I went home for my long weekend, and decided to be a waste to not binge since I had all this food available to me. Something is seriously wrong with me.
Not to mention that it's Halloween and the party I'm going to tonight is going to be LOADED with Halloween candy. My purging high is so strong right now that I honesty couldn't care less either. Eat, purge, eat, purge. Seems to make all my problems go away.

-Niqi
xoxo

Thursday, October 30, 2014

I need to relax

I CAN'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO RELAX.
My anxiety has been through the roof for the past month. 3 weeks of midterms and so many assignments. So I did what I always do. I ignored my emotions. I shut down that part of my brain. Of course that never leads to any good. Fucking BPD. My impulse goes crazy when I ignore my emotions. I made a lot of stupid decisions. And binged and purged so much. That post purge high is magical.
On the plus side, I did get through most of my midterms reasonably well. I definitely should have done a lot, and I mean A LOT better on physics and linear algebra. But I should still be able to pull of an A+ in every class except for physics. I'm just gonna have to work my ass off. And a B- in physics will still allow me to have an A average.

-Niqi
xoxo